That Time I Lived in TX.

One year. I lived in Texas for a year. It was brutal.

Wait.


I love Texas...I have no qualms with its 'colorful' language, numerous taco houses, huts, casas, bells...the quirky smiles on lower Greenville, the stereotypical and truly unreal big hair...I enjoyed it all. It was an adventure. 

I remember driving away, the day after Christmas, over 4 years ago. I was in my little coupe, next to my fiance with the trunk fuller than it should have been with my clothes, picture frames, and other things I did not really need.

What I forgot to take with me was the most important thing. Call it maturity, call it being myself, call it bravery.

I was excited, beyond excited to start a new chapter. Then the new chapter started and it sucked. I was scared, and upset and I crawled into a cave. Sadly, I crawled into that cave during what could have been a joyous time in my life. 
But, there is a happy ending to this tale.

***

I have wonderful friends and an amazing family, but I did not turn to them when things got harsh. I had a knack for wrapping myself in old band aids and calling it a day. Gross. 
I shut off from everyone back home and wallowed in high times and very low times, there was no grey area in Texas.

We went on fun excursions and silly trips. We saw movies and ate amazing food. I loved spending time with his family. I met some crazy awesome people at a great job. We were in love and completely immature. We fought in ways I never saw us fighting. We acted out in pain and chose hurtful words. In the midst of happy times there are painful memories that I am okay with fading away.

Let's not forget, this has a happy ending, remember?

I don't feel the need to go into more detail at this point, but Texas treated me well, and I did not return the favor.

***

I moved back home and resumed my classes and got a new job. I mended relationships and accepted my family's comforting words. My (now husband) and I were fine, we really were, but we needed this time to grow.

We matured incredibly. We still act like children at times, but shew whee did we need this. 

I appreciate my family, friendships, and home more than I ever could have before. 

I realize the importance of relationship variety and how not just maintaining, but treasuring these gifts is so necessary.

We learned how to better love one another, and also what needs to come first. We were not walking with the Lord in Texas. Sure, we went to church here and there but our attempts at living our faith were weak and pathetic. 

We can't imagine, now, being in a relationship together without keeping the Lord at our center. We have fostered new and "old" friendships that help keep us aware of this goal...we have family that cares about us and we are extremely thankful.

When I thought back to Texas I would feel overwhelmed with anxiety and grief. It was a dark and sad memory. Now, I understand why I had to have this experience. Why we needed to have this experience. We have so much more respect for each other today.

I remind myself daily, that hardships do not have to be in vain. Use them. We will have more, we will go through seasons, but look what we can accomplish with God's help and guidance. I hate fear with a passion and I...we will no longer let it rule our actions.

***

Woah, Allison, why such a serious post? Because. I am a talker, but this is one thing I have never been able to truly talk about. So, instead of renewing my lease in that cave, I brought it out in the open. A much more positive move, don't you think?


We absolutely love visiting Texas and my husband's family, we genuinely wish we could go more often. I love that Texas is "back" to being the place where we dated, where my shopping issue is at full throttle, and the place where my husband and I have truly happy memories.

xoxo

{Be on the lookout for one of my favorite looks inspired by my fond memories of Texas} 

Impatient Patience

Silly title? Maybe...but I am a self-declared and well accepted walking and talking oxymoron.

*I break my foot and then fall again on crutches.

*I tell everyone I am learning patience through all of this, and I am pretty much lying to (the inside of) my face.

*I tell myself I can still do upper body and core workouts, with a super positive and happy voice. Then I do them for the first week, and say, ehhh.

C'mon now. 

My situation is not bad. Not even all that stinky. 

*I have read 3 books. 

*I have watched some sweet movies (yes, I totally will take that as a positive right now).

*I am re-teaching myself the discipline of making my lunches and dinners over quick and easy meals.

*My husband and I are forced to communicate in different ways, as I am pretty much home most of the time (aside from work, and the occasional times I am "allowed" to venture out on my hobble foot).

*My dog is ECSTATIC about this new arrangement of me not leaving her.

As hard or difficult I may think a moment is, it is just that: a moment. 

I have decided to conquer a few health goals at the same time. Not the greatest idea, but like I told a friend the other day, "most of my goals were fitness related before, and now they simply cannot revolve around that."

So, I am trying to do as many (girl) push-ups as I possibly can. But, I am also taking the time to check off a few other things on my list. One of those is, again, making wholesome meals, which is not as hard as I had made it out to be in my head. Another is to decrease the amount of medicine in my body. This is a pretty personal one, so if you have any questions concerning this please do not hesitate to message or email me, I am happy to discuss.

When you make changes for/to your body, it is not going to be easy. 9 times out of 10 it is going to feel like a struggle. But, those 9 times out of 10 are also totally worth it. I am proving to my body that it can heal itself. That I can overcome fears and anxieties that once plagued my everyday.

Broken foot? Yeah, it does suck. I really want to go for a run. Do some squats. Rollerblade. Anything at this point. But, is God telling me to "wait, a minute" and pay attention to some other aspects of my life? You bet.

Now, go on a walk/run for me..mail me the burned calories and I'll see you out there in 6 weeks ;)

Fitness Friday: Goals

These are not "New Year's Goals."

These are Allison needs to continue to work hard...and then work harder to reach her goals she has had for several months now.

GOALS:

1. Eat 3 FULL servings of veggies every day.

2. Run a 1:50 half-marathon (long term goal is a 1:45 PR).

3. Do more interval runs outside rather than on the treadmill.

4. Worry more about toning up/getting stronger rather than my weight.

5. Fit comfortably in this dress (It fits, but my mid-section needs to be tighter for me to be able to not 'suck it in' while wearing it).   -------->  

6. Run early in the morning..i.e. stop procrastinating in general.

7. Make wholesome dinners more often for my husband and I.

8. Get my Master's in Historical Preservation.

9. Visit Germany and Poland (to be able to SEE what I study).

10. Measure out my portions for snacks...I have gotten away from this and have noticed (negative) differences.

11. Read the Bible and my devotional daily, no matter the excuses I may try and come up with.

As you can see, many of my goals are fitness or health related, but they delve into other parts of my life. When I eat better, relax about being a certain weight (or being the weight I "used to be"), stop procrastinating, and workout regularly, I am happier and more at ease. I want to enjoy a healthy life, indulgences included. 

I don't have cheat days, I have dessert when I want it, but sometimes it is lighter and sometimes it is disgustingly chocolately. 

Keep me accountable! And, if you have goals you are looking forward to accomplishing, please share. If you need support or encouragement...or a kick in the rear, I would be happy to be your I'm not going to let you fail buddy :)

Happy Fitness Friday! 

Eating the Holidays

How will I eat throughout Christmas and the surrounding days that I consider party of the holiday?

I am going to eat what I want.

I am going to try what I want.

I am going to indulge.

I am going to try my best to NOT reach the point of feeling ill.

If I do not really enjoy something I will NOT continue to eat it.

I will continue to work out.

And, that's it!

Voi-la!

ENJOY yourself; just don't pop and turn into a big Christmas cookie ;)

Merry Christmas and enjoy this blessed time with the people God has placed in your life.

Perfect.

I love to encourage and help my loved ones out whenever possible/necessary. But when it comes time to sit down and eat my own words, I lose my appetite.

I am not perfect, sure I know this. But it still absolutely sucks when I make a mistake and cannot pick up my own pieces. 


For example, when I go off my attempt to eat healthy and inhale too much of something deemed 'junk food' I do not forgive myself. I replay it over and over in my head and beat myself up about it till I am black and blue with guilt and regret. How is this helping? Oh, it's not. But I seem to make sure it is my only option.

I am a continuing work in progress, as we all are. I need to love myself the way I love others, and the way God loves each of us. I need to have that same mercy on myself. I still need to kick my behind in gear when I know better, but who do I think I am? 

I am not perfect.

Morning Push

I have procrastinated long enough this morning. I let Netflix suck me in, but this is my first full week back to running after my half and it is up to me to make it great. So, get out there and enjoy fall before the snow comes!

Fitness Friday!

Fitness Friday!

Where free encouragement, bragging, advice, recipes, complaining, and shiny pictures come to meet.

Free Encouragement

Look at these as many times as you need to, and then one more time.

I know I need to.

Have a strong day!

Read With Caution

You know when you get into those "thinking funks"...well I have been in one for 3 days now. These can yield some positive results from brainstorming, but they most often, for me, cause more worry than ever needed in  the first place.

....................................................................................................................................

When is it okay to step in? When is it appropriate and respectful to share with a friend your concerns for them?

This is more than difficult.

1. Because I am not perfect and I do not want to come off sounding like I am God's messenger to all.

2. I don't know what's best.

3. Sometimes friends need a listening ear over a concerned word.

4. Saying these things in the most delicate way is hard.

5. How do you know it is the right thing to do?


That last one is a real doozy. But, when a friend is experiencing pain and you know they don't have to, is that when it crosses the line?

I understand that we grow from pain and thicker skin is not a bad thing, but that daunting line between maturing and suffering can be intimidating. 

I have so many blessings; God has granted me with very special and close friends, that I know what I feels like to become defensive in their "honor" and want to take action. There are times we (as friends) took action and it was good, there were times when it did nothing, and there were times we did not step up and it was regretful.

These people mean so much to me and of course it hurts to see them in pain, but is it my duty to fix that? No, of course not. But, there is a way to care for them and remind them of their worth without ruling over them. 


Please share your thoughts on this sensitive circumstance, a personal experience, or a related topic.

Thank you, very much.

For You.

God didn't make you to quit.
Why would He, all powerful, make a mistake?
That's right, he doesn't.
You are magnificent.
You may feel half-full some days, but count those not.
Tally the times your heart beats strong, your head is high, and your love abundant.
God made you for purposes you cannot fathom, some you may never know.
But, someone else will.
Take another deep breath.
It will be alright, it always will be.
You have God in your corner, on your side, above, and all around you.
Fight harder, love even fiercer, and do not be afraid "...you are fearfully and wonderfully made."

MM via Runsforcookies

These posts on Katie's blog always help to get my week off to a great start :)

Enjoy!

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Motivational Monday #29

Today marks the four year anniversary of when I started to lose weight (this final time). I'd attempted to lose weight dozens of times before, and I really thought it would be no different this time. Surprisingly, over the next 16 months, I lost 125 pounds. I also became a runner, which was something I never imagined in my wildest dreams.

It's so strange to think that just four years ago, I was 253 pounds, I'd never run a mile in my life, and I was binge eating several times a week. I was ashamed of who I'd become, and even more ashamed that I couldn't make myself get it together (if not for myself, then for my family).

I feel like I'm a completely different person today, but I know I wouldn't be "me" if I hadn't gone through all that I did. The person I was in 2009 made me who I am today, and I'm very happy with who I am now. I'm not perfect; never will be! But I wouldn't change anything.

August 19, 2009 vs. August 19, 2013

I'll probably write more about this tomorrow. I didn't want to take away from Motivational Monday!

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Allison's husband, Jake, has always supported her as a runner--going to her races, and cheering her on from the sidelines--but wasn't a runner himself. Allison recently confided in him that she was very nervous about her second half-marathon in October. Her training and eating habits were suffering, and she worried she may not even be able to finish the race if she continued on like that. In order to calm her fears, and offer even more support, Jake decided to run the half-marathon with her in October! He's progressing in his training very well, and even admitted that he kind of enjoys running ;)

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On Mother's Day, Lindsay's son, Cody, told her that he wanted to run a 5K race. She was thrilled, because she and her husband, Bill, had just completed a half-marathon. The three of them signed up for The Color Run on July 20th, and Cody was very happy to train for the race. Just a week before the race, Lindsay and Bill were in a horrific motorcycle accident (a truck carrying bales of hay had some come loose, and one hit Bill in the face, causing the accident). They both spent time in the hospital, with multiple injuries. Cody, bless his heart, didn't want to run the 5K without them; but Lindsay told him he should go ahead and do it for his daddy (who was still unconscious). He ran the 5K, and had a great time! Lindsay and Bill are both recovering, and she says they can't wait to get back to running so that they can run a race together.

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Colleen and her husband went on an 11-mile hike. She said there were SO many times they were ready to call it a day, but they kept going, and it was totally worth it!

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You may remember Dean from when he ran his first 5K in April, and then when he ran his first 10K. He's been in the process of losing weight and training for the Detroit Half-Marathon in October, and I love that he's updating his progress! Anyway, Dean had 10 miles on the schedule, and he was having a great run; so great, that he decided to run an extra 5K and call it a half-marathon! ;)  He's now down 60 pounds, too!

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After spending three years battling the ups and downs of weight loss, Katie finally reached her goal weight at Weight Watchers! She's very excited (and a little nervous) to finally be at the maintenance phase of her journey. The first pic was from 2010, and the second is a current picture.

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Laura just ran her first 5K on Saturday! It was the Run or Dye race, and she said it was the perfect pick for a first race, because she had so much fun. She just started the Couch to 5K about 5 weeks ago, and was able to run almost the entire 5K distance during the race!

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Rhonda (left in photo), and her friend, Margene, just completed the Iron Girl Seattle triathlon! Rhonda set a PR (and a new goal for next year), and Margene took second place in her age division of 70-74!

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Schellen just completed her first 5K race! She (obviously) did The Color Run, with a combination of running and walking. Six months ago, she was too self-conscious to run in front of people at the gym, let alone in public; but at The Color Run, she ran along with 10,000 other people!

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Kara had an 18-miler on the schedule for her marathon training, so she ran the Hobble Creek Half-Marathon in 1:56:25 (very close to a PR!), and THEN followed up with five more miles to get in all 18!

Devotional Turned Runvotional

Yes, I did come up with that title all on my own. 

But, seriously, I have some encouraging news to share with you! Whether you run, walk, have a demanding job, kids, bike, swim, anything!...This post is about determination and why it never goes away even when we feel like we have failed.

Here is the devotional (via my Dad) that prompted this post:

...................................................................................................................................................................

July 19

Getting Back on Course

2 Peter 3:17-18

No matter how far away from God you have drifted, you're always welcome back. That's the lesson from Jesus' parable about the prodigal son--the foolish boy who followed a pleasure-filled path to ruin before returning to his father and finding redemption (Luke 15:11-32). Perhaps ruin has not yet come to you, but you know that your heart has grown cool to the things of God. Whatever your drifting story, make this the day that you point yourself back to the Lord.

As with any sin, the first motion toward getting back on course is to acknowledge that you have slipped away from the Lord. Then you confess and repent, which is like turning your boat in the opposite direction and paddling toward God with all your strength. If you're wondering exactly how to do that, I suggest a strategy I use every morning. Before I step out of bed, I give myself to God by acknowledging, I surrender my entire life to You for this day. When something comes up that runs counter to His plan and I consider pursuing it, the Holy Spirit reminds me that I am not my own. Only God's way will do for me.

Every day we choose whether to row or drift. As for me, I choose to vigorously pursue God.

Peter gives a warning to be on guard against attitudes and ideologies that would carry you away from truth (2 Peter 3:17). Instead, choose to paddle your lifeboat toward the Lord by meditating on Scripture, praying, and living obediently. Practicing the spiritual disciplines keeps a heart warm toward God.

...................................................................................................................................................................

Lately I have seen my pace slow (I know in part due to the super warm weather) but also because I have not been as consistent with my training and diet. So, I renewed my gym membership so I would not have an excuse to strength train, cross train, and run inside if need be. I just go 2-3 times per week and run outside or bike the other days. It has only been a couple weeks but I want to feel myself "Getting Back on Course." I got a little freaked out when I saw a substantial amount of unwanted lbs. pop up, but I have to remember that those are not everything. I know I am gaining some of my 'old' muscle back and I also KNOW I need to make better diet choices to enhance my workouts and overall health/energy levels. 

Just like God will always welcome us back with open arms, our bodies are always ready for healthy habits or lifestyle changes. It is never too late to either begin these practices or return to them. As discouraging as weight gain, slower paces, or shorter distances may be they do not own us. Just like you accomplished something before, it is possible again. 

The 'sin' in this scenario might be food (too big of portions, not the right choices) or lack of determination. Does God turn away when we sin? Uhhh, no, because if He did we would all be feeling a lot more lost right now. He actually opens His arms wider when we are wandering without Him. Our bodies and our minds crave a healthy lifestyle. It does not mean we won't "flub" here and there, and it also does not mean we cannot enjoy food- that's just ridiculous! What it does mean is that you always have the power to surpass what you thought your potential was...you have all the abilities in the world to get to where you are proud of yourself.

There will be days better than others. There are days I am a more loving wife...there are days I am a more loyal friend...there are days I am a better listener. There are also days I workout harder...drink more water...am proud of my food choices. Each day is new- so treat your body and mind the same. Each day is an opportunity, don't get down on yourself for what may have happened before, get ready and excited about what is to come. Plus, they say stress makes the body hold onto fat more anyways ;)

Now, GO HAVE A   FANTASTIC day!

Humidity

Shew Whee, is an understatement. Humidity kills when you are lazy and don't get out of the door till 10:30 a.m. for a long run. Oops, that's my fault isn't it...

Well that's my story. Yesterday my husband and I got a surprise and both had the day off. So, we had breakfast together (along with Monroe) and I didn't even think about running till 10. At that point I knew it was humid from taking Monroe outside a couple of times. I rambled on about this idea that "well you know sometimes runners just take off a week and run easy and let their joints rest," but I knew once I got out there I would kick my butt up a few gears. I had only drank two glasses of water and a cup of coffee before leaving to run, which only lasted me 3 miles before I had to stop for water. I had 3 total water stops during my 8 mile run/2 mile walk trek drag. Haha, but really, I did enjoy myself. As weird or gross as it may sound the feeling of being outside drenched in sweat and moving even though your body wants to stop is a fulfilling experience. (Which lasts until you step inside, then it just feels nasty). My pace pleasantly surprised me at 9:17 min/mile. 

One of my favorite parts of the run was during a stretch in some gorgeous woods along the trail. There was no one else in close proximity so I took out my ear buds and just enjoyed the shade. The breeze sounded beautiful coming through the trees and the only other noise were some birds chirping here and there. It calmed me even though I had been running for an hour in some mean heat. These are moments that I can say I run for. I even had the opportunity to spot two dear and one had their little one with them, too sweet. Also, these little periwinkle colored "mini" butterflies kept flying all around me, I have to admit it made me feel pretty magical ;) Never take these moments for granted, these are the moments that not only bring life to a run but prove time and again God's glory and love for beauty. He is full of surprises.

When I finished mile 7 I spotted Jake walking towards me (he said he would meet me on the trail) and he had run some but we walked together for a mile or so. It was hot. So, I did not mind the walk break. We got some water at the next fountain- he sprayed me with the dog fountain, of course, and then we got back on track. Jake kept walking (he is still new to running, so I give him credit for just coming out in this silly weather) and I ran my last mile. I ran about .70 out and ran the last .30 back to him. We then walked the last 2 miles back home, keeping a steady pace. I even embarrassed him and pulled out the power walking arms. 

Despite the heat and me skipping running on Monday (I did yoga instead) it was a really fun run. I always enjoy the solitude the trail brings and it always clears my head. Being an 'Anxious Annie,' any time I can get my mind to settle I take it! I hope you enjoy any activities you have planned, but PLEASE be careful in this kind of heat/humidity and listen to your body's signals.

Why Pacing is Crucial and Mind Over Matter is Not Just a Corny Idea

Long title, right? But, I couldn't center my normally "catchy" cheesy inner-self. Therefore this post will be on exactly the two topics listed above. 

A little background info first. I usually do my long runs on Mondays since that is my day off during the week. This past Monday my lazy bum did not get out of the house until almost lunch time to run. It was already hot and the humidity was awfully angry that day. I hadn't drank enough for a long run and the food I ate wasn't especially helpful for running in heat. I decided to run out on some country roads surrounding our city and hope that would distract me enough to finish the workout I had scheduled. I did the best I could with being respectful to the drivers; getting over as far as possible, hopping into the grass when cars were coming both ways, and just overall being aware of what was happening around me. There was only one vehicle that the driver gestured their hands at me and wouldn't budge- I felt their A/C they were so close ;)

Anyways, my psychological trick of new surroundings as a distraction lasted all of 2 miles. By the time I stumbled through mile 3 I stopped at an old cemetery to walk a bit and cool down. I checked my Garmin, and was angry about my pace. This is probably the only time I will be upset about a faster pace. I had been running 8:30/8:40 min/miles when I should have been going much slower for the conditions and distance I had planned. After my immaturity ceased, as much as it was going to, I trudged along down another country road and into my parents' neighborhood. I admit, I stopped at 5 miles that day and grabbed a ride home from my brother; that is right, I didn't even walk home. This is why those little reminders to eat properly, hydrate more than you planned to, and practice pacing is extremely important. I know I still pushed myself with the heat and wind yelling at me the whole way, but I also did NOT complete my goal for the day. 

PS: (The next day I ate burgers and about a pound of fries...way to wrangle it in Allison. But, they were delicious)

Now, onto the "mind over matter" portion. Since I did not do my long run for the week I wrote down on our calendar that I would make it up on Wednesday. After a sketchy week of running last week and my less than superb run on Monday I set a goal of 8 miles (2 miles less than what was scheduled). Then came Wednesday morning...I could not breathe out of my nose, I was coughing, and I woke up at 5 a.m. just because my body was teasing me. I knew I was still going to go running, but shew whee did I fight it. I got up and washed my face, took some allergy medicine, and ate breakfast. I let myself drink my water slowly and let my food digest before changing into my running clothes. My husband had to be at work at 7 a.m. so it was perfect timing to get myself out the door too. I walked longer than normal to my route so my body wouldn't get pooped right away and it felt good to breathe in as much morning air as I could. 

Courtesy of Jerry Anderson f.b.

I started off at a warm-up pace (9:45 min/mile) for the first mile and then settled into my overall pace of about 9/9:18 min miles. I purposely put on my playlist that included some awesome music, with artists like Brandon Heath, Tenth Avenue North, Jars of Clay, and many others. It was a mix of great mood music, inspiring lyrics, and some higher paced beats. I was smiling! That's right, after not wanting to go and just stay in bed with my tissues, my run was helping my body and mind feel better. I told myself when I began to run I would have a goal of 4 miles. When I got to mile 2-3 I knew I could do better than that for myself. I knew I had to at least complete the 8 miles I had written down; and I did so plus another mile, some walking later on, and rollerblading with Jake that night. I know giving my run over to the Lord made the difference. He gave me the strength I needed to accomplish this goal and enjoy it also. God blessed me with beautiful surroundings and a quiet morning to let go of all insecurities and anxious feelings. I asked for the will to be able to do this run and God not only blessed me with that but also an attitude change. I even texted my "running mentor" afterwards to share the great news. I hope all runners experience this on their own level and are thankful for such a unique gift. 

Therefore, whether you run, walk, bike, stroll, skate, or any other activity- your mind is more powerful than even your body, and that is up to you :)

Devotional Break

This is from a devotional that my dad sent me toward the end of April. I was going over in my head recently how my running has not been heading in the direction I was hoping. I am not in the shape I hoped to be, even though my running has stayed consistent and I have tried to push myself by adding in varying runs, lengths, and speeds, but I have yet to see results. Actually my longer runs have decreased and my "happy pace" went from 8:20/8:40 to about 9:10/9:30. This was very discouraging, and to be honest I still feel disappointed. 

The big BUT here is that my body is telling me something, and I need to listen. Either I need to stay steady for now and get back into my groove or my diet and/or techniques need some adjusting. This is not failure, even though it feels like it in the moment. Although the title of this devotional is "Learning From Failure" failure only comes when we let it be so. Failure can easily be turned into a lesson, an experience, and ultimately an encouragement.

This not only pertains to running or other physical activities, but all aspects of our lives. I hope you find it refreshing and helpful. 


Learning From Failure

Luke 22:31-34

The disciple Peter was a man of great faith and bold action. But as readers of the New Testament know, his brash style sometimes led him to make humiliating mistakes. More than once, this disciple had to wear the label of "miserable failure" rather than that of "obedient servant."

We can all relate when it comes to falling short of expectations. Obedience to God is a learning process, and failure is a part of our development as humble servants. When we yield to temptation or rebel against God's authority, we realize that sin has few rewards, and even those are fleeting.

Failure is an excellent learning tool, as Peter could certainly attest. Through trial and error, he discovered that humility is required of believers (John 13:5-14); that God's ways are higher than the world's ways (Mark 8:33); and that one should never take his eyes off Jesus (Matt. 14:30). He took each of those lessons to heart and thereby grew stronger in his faith. Isn't that Romans 8:28 in action? God caused Peter's failures to be put to good use as training material because the disciple was eager to mature and serve.

God doesn't reward rebellion or wrongdoing. However, by His grace, He blesses those who choose repentance and embrace chastisement as a tool for growth.

We would probably all prefer to grow in our faith without ever making a mistake before God's eyes, but we cannot deny that missteps are instructive. Failure teaches believers that it is much wiser and more profitable to be obedient to the Lord. That's a lesson we all should take to heart.

Cleveland Half Marathon Race Report 5/19

Alright, I know I am pretty darn late in posting about my half-marathon, but I hope "better late than never" works for me in this instance ;)

My FIRST (AHHH!) half-marathon took place on May 19th beginning behind the Cleveland Browns Stadium (Go Brownies!) at 7a.m. -thank goodness because the temp was perfect at that time. I had gone to the expo the night before with my husband to collect my race packet and peek around at the booths. I had a meltdown. Everyone there seemed to be in a group with family or friends. No one was too friendly (participants, not event staff-they were great). Jake was not feeling well either, poor guy, so he was only half present from his allergy fog. Therefore, I let my emotions get the best of me and I felt alone and nervous and no longer excited. I didn't want to look around, didn't want to buy a t-shirt, I just wanted to go home. Childish? Of course, but I am being honest about how I crumbled in a moment of fear. Jake let me spew it out and cry some in the car on the way to my aunt and uncle's house (we stayed there for the weekend). 

I did not pray at first, I admit. It was only later that Jake had prayed and I talked to God some for help with this panic I was experiencing. When we arrived at their house my brother was already there; he came to support me too, very neat. Seeing friendly faces and hearing their encouragement helped immensely and I decided to try harder to push these negative feelings away and enjoy this time with family. We went out for dinner- I loaded up on breakfast foods: veggie omelet, hash browns, a gorgeous and amazing pancake with just butter, and then we had to stop at Malley's Chocolates for my favorite- chocolate covered raisins; the chocolate to raisin ratio is 4:1 haha. I didn't want too eat too much chocolate the night before because sugar seems to really slow me down when I run or workout. Then we headed to Melt so the boys could get their XL fancy grilled cheese sandwiches (FYI: Jake had already eaten 3 pancakes, that's my man!)

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We got back to the house and just relaxed, which helped with my anxiety. We played ping pong, watched some of a movie and I crashed early, before 10p.m. I took half a melatonin, which I have not taken in a long time, just to try and help myself ease into a good sleep. It took me a little while to fall asleep but when I woke up at 4:45a.m. I felt good and the adrenaline kicked in. I ate a small bowl of Original Kashi cereal, loaded up on water (the night before also) and probably went to the bathroom at least 3 times. I wore a brand new thin yellow race tee and my favorite Nike capris with my, still new to me, Brooks Ravennas. My Garmin and Ipod were charged and I was as ready as I could be. I grabbed my GU and GNU bar along with a banana just in case, but the butterflies in my stomach made my appetite pretty scarce. 

The boys dropped me off close to the stadium and I just had to walk a bit. Almost immediately I talked a little with two women running in the race and they were helpful, sweet and encouraging. SHEW! I was smiling inside and out. I went to the restroom again inside the stadium to avoid the lines outside. I met another two girls, sisters, who were also running the half. They were so great and helped ease my nerves, I was feeling better and better. Then, to top it off a women stretching next to me asked which course race I was running and if I was alone. When I answered yes she immediately asked if I wanted to walk to the start line together. She was genuinely one of the nicest people I have ever met. She was a solid runner and this was her first marathon. Her family were all out of town so she was running by herself and her sole fan was her cousin who couldn't run because of an injury. We even got a picture together and chatted till I had to move back to my 8:30min/mile pace compared with her 7:30min/mile. God blessed me so much with some amazing people and it lifted my spirits more than I could have hoped.

Then, it started. Was I intimidated? YES! People were decked out in the latest running gear, but hey, I was going to do my best. I told myself my goal was to not walk and finish under 2:20. The first 5 miles flew by with a >9 minute mile pace...and then the inevitable happened, I had to pee. Dang it. I ran off the to side and waited in line for a restroom,  adding about 3-4 minutes to my overall time. After that I tried to pace with a girl in a super cute neon tank and hope I wouldn't make myself too obvious. The course was beautiful, we ran through downtown, over the two largest bridges, through old neighborhoods, Lakeside shops, and back through downtown near Tower City. The supporters were AMAZING and made the race 10X more exciting. Two of my favorite signs? "You trained longer than Kim Kardashian was married" and "This is the worst parade ever." I giggled. I was so grateful for the volunteers handing out water and powerade and the awesome gospel choir singing at about mile 8. I tried to scarf down some GU at mile 9-10 and only got about half of it before I threw it down...odd to keep throwing trash on the street, but everyone else was doing it! ;) 

Then, there it was, mile marker 12. We started running across the old bridge leading into downtown. You can start to see Tower City, the Stadium, and the Skyline. Halfway through that stretch I saw my brother and Jake cheering me on and I threw my arms up to celebrate best I could, but I know I looked ridiculous. I began to see flags so I thought I would start my final sprint, but alas I had more distance to go than anticipated. My sprint wore me out and I ended up jogging across the finish line. But, it was no less invigorating. 

My final chip time was 2:03 and my Garmin had me at exactly 2:00. I disproved myself! What a neat thing to do, beat your doubts away and prove to yourself you can accomplish what you believed to be impossible. Did I ever think I would run 5 miles? 10 miles? 13.1 miles? Heck no, but I did and it still makes me smile like a dork. I loved watching the other runners come across the finish line and their reactions. The boys met me and between chugging chocolate milk and eating a banana I rambled on and on about great the race was. It went so far beyond my expectations. I actually had fun and enjoyed myself. I pushed my body and beat my goal while being blessed with a day that was filled with awesome people, lots of sweat, good food, and the best feeling of accomplishment. This will not be my last race and I am excited to continue to improve my stamina.

PS: I have already registered for the Rock N' Roll Cleveland Half Marathon in October :)

The weekend ended with a good burger and fries, trips to Whole Foods and Trader Joe's, a fruit tart, looking at pretty houses in old West End, and getting to hang out with my husband and brother without an agenda. I encourage you to push past what you think you can do and see what you are made of. You will not only surprise yourself but you will become an encouragement to those around you.

Not a Struggle

I often say that, because I was never a runner in that past, my journey to be one now has been a struggle...but it's not. Running is NOT a struggle. Yes, it takes major commitment, exertion of energy that sometimes we feel is not even left, healthy habits, determination, a lot of time, money, and emotional and mental awareness and draining on a weekly basis. But, I will not classify running as a struggle any longer. Running is a privilege, just as biking, walking, rollerblading, sitting, standing, talking, and whatever else may be something you felt was a "struggle."

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 I have the choice and ability to go outside and run for however long my body and I am able to do so. Running clears my head, it makes my muscles stronger, and it can heal a heavy heart. Running, for me, has not been easy. I can say, running will always continue to be something I have to work hard for, but I will not label it a struggle in my life. I have shoes to run in, water to quench my thirst, a husband to whine to when I don't want to run, and food to re-fuel my body. What a blessing?

It doesn't have to be running. Whatever helps you to let anxiety and sadness leave you. Something that makes you feel healthy inside and out. It is the thing that you may have felt was impossible, but now is in your hands for the taking. Please, do not call it a struggle. Leave that noun for when it is appropriate. I challenge myself and I challenge you to embrace these hills, mountains, and valleys as opportunities.

xoxo.